When my brother and I were kids, our parents had a special tradition to prevent us from feeling envious or left out: unbirthday presents.

Every time one of us had a birthday, the other would get at least one unbirthday present. Believe me, this helped a lot to stem our continual sibling rivalry.

In support of this fine tradition, I present my round one entry for =ProfessorM's tournament. May it entertain everyone who reads it.

Happy unbirthday, everyone! (or birthday as your case may be)

P.S. I look forward to seeing what my opponent, , cooks up on the other end of our friendly competition.

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Still accepting requests.