My year began with me eating leftover funeral cake on my birthday, the day before classes started.
I'm still not sure how to react to that.
How did your year begin?
EX.R4 - Remember the ForgottenOnce upon a time, in a quiet, little suburb of North America, there lived a child named TJ Pierce.EX.R4 - Remember the Forgotten by Voice-of-Levity
TJ was blessed with parents that loved him and his siblings more than they loved each other, and who all worked hard to make sure he had a safe roof over his head, even if they couldn't all live under it.
They sent him to nice public schools where he received a quality education, and where students received free sandwiches on the days that their parents didn't have money for food just yet. Most importantly, the parents loved TJ so much that they spent many years learning how to control their tempers so that they wouldn't hurt or yell at him anymore.
And so, with their encouragement, TJ grew from a bookish little child, one who was too afraid to show--or even feel--his own emotions, into a lively and outgoing young adult who loved to laugh and make other people laugh.
But in a normal lifetime, wouldn't there be more before
EX.R3 - Lost IdentityWhen Guilty disappeared, I figured she was merely avoiding me, uncomfortable after our involuntary spectral intimacy. After Lori disappeared as well, I began harboring suspicions.EX.R3 - Lost Identity by Voice-of-Levity
I should have acted upon them sooner. Maybe then I wouldn't have been taken away too.
The memories of my abduction are vague: impressions of pain stabbing through my chest, of voices distant beyond recognition, of uncomfortably firm hands lifting me off the ground, and later of straps digging into my skin as they bound me to something flat and unyielding. Though perhaps the vagueness of my recollections can be forgiven since, after all, it was at around that time I lost more than memory.
"Can't you see me? Won't you tell me who I am?" I asked yet another passerby.
But they didn't answer, merely passed around and through me, with only a slight tugging sensation at their passing to indicate solidity. Because the answer was 'no.'
Not that I was certain I wanted to be noticed by a crowd that consisted prim
EX.R2 - Not All ThereDear Lord,EX.R2 - Not All There by Voice-of-Levity
You know that I've always had trouble with memory, with focus, with functioning at all. And, with your help, I thought I was improving; I really did. But it's gotten worse again. Maybe it's from being eaten by the house? I don't know. Who do I even talk to? Guilty? What do I say? "Hi there, I know we've been avoiding each other since our minds got blended together--since we learned each other's most uncomfortable secrets--but have you been feeling crazier lately?"
- from TJ's journal
My friends have joked that I'd make a great serial killer.
They said it was because no one would suspect me: I tended towards unassuming and quiet, with posture poor enough to conceal my height, but not hunched enough to seem creepy. I looked relatively weak and harmless, too scrawny to be a threat. My honest face came with a somewhat goofy smile, complete with dimples to emphasize my youthful appearance. My jokes were self-depreciating rather than mean or insulting to others
EX.R1 - Scientific CuriosityHow do I know Guilty so well? Personally, I blame the haunted mansion. That and Death. He's the one that took me to his city of Nothing, beginning everything.EX.R1 - Scientific Curiosity by Voice-of-Levity
The ride to Death's realm was...eventful. I quickly learned not to look out the windows if I wanted to keep what little was in my stomach. Instead I acquainted myself with the truck's faded green dashboard, my unreliable-looking seat belt, random notes I found in my coat-pockets, and the palms of my black gloves. Frequently those palms were put to work covering the lenses of my glasses.
Sometimes, during my bolder moments, I would glance back through the rear window at the other passengers, Roy and Katie. I didn't see much of them; just some odd shapes under a tarp. A vampire and a troll don't do well in sunlight, and they weren't taking any chances.
Death himself was surprisingly sociable, sharing frequent jokes and observations, occasionally slowing the truck so that he could point out a particularly impressive scene.
Ex III: Judge Comments - Round Three:icon7outerelements::iconexversusplz::iconBlueLibrarian:Ex III: Judge Comments - Round Three by mippins
7outerelements vs. BlueLibrarian
Votes: 0-2.5 (0-2 judges; 0-1 readers)
Mippins and Vane:7outerelements: commentsBlueLibrarian: commentsMippins' vote: BlueLibrarianVane's vote: BlueLibrarian
BlueLibrarian: I have so many thoughts about this entry and so few ideas how to put them into words. There are things I do and don’t like about what you have. I think my favorite scene was the confrontation in Satan’s office. If I’m being honest, I don’t quite understand what it’s purpose was, but boy was it ever cool. And then the whole overall arc with Cernun, seemingly siding with Death only to “
Ex III: Judge Comments - Round Two:iconfancylances::iconexversusplz::iconBlueLibrarian:Ex III: Judge Comments - Round Two by mippins
fancylances vs. BlueLibrarian
Votes: 0.5-2 (0-2 judges; 1-0 readers)
Mippins and Vane:fancylances: commentsBlueLibrarian: commentsMippins' vote: BlueLibrarianVane's vote: BlueLibrarian
Erin clearly spared no effort in this round. It is dense with reference and character development. Once again, characters were split up to avoid the crowding effect of having so many people standing around, this time to greater effect. Each character set got to do something interesting, and most of them got to make me chuckle.
I'm curious what directions Erin is taking this story, and what assumptions she is making behind the scenes to support her plot. T
EXIII R2 - (Incomplete)“I can walk on my own!” Eira struggled under the angel’s gripEXIII R2 - (Incomplete) by Silvermokona
“Good, then walk.” Nadezhda pushed the rogue away from her, causing her to stumble before catching herself. Lori could only lower her gaze, trying to ignore the eventual scuffle. At least they were almost near the city, but at this point their arguing was getting completely ridiculous
“Man, you’re a meanie-face too,” Plum looked up at the angel, “You’re super uptight and you keep attacking things without warning!”
“I do not,” the angel protested
“You nearly put an arrow through me and you still say that?” Eira stormed up to the other character, but stopped when her creator put herself between both of them.
“C-can,” Lori paused, still keeping her gaze towards the ground “Can you just. . .stop arguing? Every time one of you opens your mouth another just finds a way to start an argument and I just. . .” she t
Ex III: Judge Comments - Round One (Matches 3+4):iconJaredSol::iconexversusplz::iconleucrotta:Ex III: Judge Comments - Round One (Matches 3+4) by mippins
JaredSol vs. Leucrotta
Votes: 3.5-0.5 (2-0 judges; 3-1 readers)
*Oh boy, starting off with floating dialogue. A lot of floating dialogue. This works in movies, but not in writing, since it just confuses the reader. Who's speaking? What is the voice supposed to sound like? What's the setting? What's happening? Ground your reader, first and foremost. I have to scroll down before I learn that we're in a speakeasy. Up until that point, the reader is floating in the nether with no sense of the setting (beyond like, a table, but a table tells me nothing).
*Still kind of confused about your characters. I'm not sure whose head we're in, so all these descriptors (the tall man, the antique warrior, the giggling one in the mask) are super lost. Referring to them by name and then giving us descriptions would be a more effective way of giving the reader a mental image of your cast. It's als